Did You Miss Me?

Okay, I decided to take last week off – it was Passover, Easter and I am sure other religious holidays (aren’t they all the same anyway? Love one another, be the best you can be –that’s the army – sorry) and I had a houseful of guests coming to my home. I needed time to prepare. After all, I only eat carbohydrates a few times per year and this is one of them. But, I think the carbs did me in. Or performed a Santeria ritual on me because I am in pain.

I haven’t been in this much pain since the 1980’s when I was playing tennis with Sting (how’s that for gratuitous name dropping) and went to smash a two-handed backhand winner down the baseline and landed on my feet and fell to the floor of the court and couldn’t get up. BTW, he was not at the time a very good player but Trudie was always the line judge and would merciless call points in his favor all the time.

The point to this is that I am writing this with every back, abdominal and gluteal muscle in complete spasm. I blame it on the lasagna – lifting it out of the oven, I am sure contributed to these muscle spasms; although it didn’t actually happen until Monday when I was emptying the last dishwasher. I however, feel guilty about the lasagna, okay and the pastries – supplied by my nurse I must add – they were delicious. Soon to be available on line – I shouldn’t be telling any of you that part though. However, it is all about acceptance and I accept the fact that I am a good old Italian- American boy at heart and can’t resist it during the holidays.

We’ll get back to acceptance but how about this for another name drop – my dog Remington, is now BFF’s with Mary Kate Olsen. We (or should I say he) met her when I was limping home from parking the car. I noticed her diminutive little figure dressed all in black (of course – I mean really, you own and run (supposedly according to Newsweek) a billion dollar clothing line and all you can ever wear is black?????) with giant black sunglasses (again, you have been wearing those for years) at 8 PM at night texting or maybe texting on her phone when she suddenly stops and bends down to pet and play with Remington. Now, anyone who knows Remington knows he could care less about humans when he has an entire street to smell; but, he did give her a moment of his time and then pulled up to the nearest tree. Mary Kate got up, never saying one word to me, and continued on her merry way. Okay, perhaps they are not BFF’s yet………

I got the idea for this weeks blog about acceptance from Glee –it was a 1.5 hour episode – so exciting; and Kurt came back singing an amazing rendition of, “It’s as if we never said goodbye.” I was just so miserable about this back spasm because I am NEVER sick and I am unable to exercise – well that’s not entirely true – Shane and I did train on Tuesday morning at the crack of dawn so I am sure my body didn’t even know I was awake. But, I have had to give it up this week and that made me sad because it makes me think I am going to go back to being that fat little kid who was miserable growing up and felt unloved.

Which was a story line also featured in this week’s Glee. Quinn Fabray, head cheerleader dating the football quarterback – you all know the story. She is running for prom queen against Lauren, the unattractive overweight girl. Lauren decides to dig up dirt on Quinn and to everyone’s surprise, Quinn’s real name is Lucy and she used to be ugly, overweight, and have dark hair and a big nose – yes all stereotypes but I do have a point. Her nickname used to be Lucy Caboosey. I can relate to her. I was the overweight kid in high school, unpopular, made fun of by others.

I know that pain and it is what keeps me eating properly and exercising like a fiend today. The theme of the episode was to accept who you are for your flaws and to embrace them because they are what makes us individually special. So, I got to thinking about health, weight loss, acceptance and most importantly, flaws.

We are all flawed and most of us spend our entire lives trying to overcome them – either in a good or bad way. They define us and help shape the person we become ultimately. However, when it comes to healthy eating or a healthy lifestyle, it’s the exact opposite. We allow those flaws to take center stage and use them as an excuse to not do the right thing. Let’s face it, eating habits are developed when we are young. Comfort foods are not something that develop when you are 60 – we tend to always reach for the foods that helped us feel better when we were little (ice cream anyone). And, we think its ok to indulge – its just food and it makes me feel good. Food Flaws are acceptable – no they are not.

Speaking of food issues, I love what Josh from the FBB said about their goats who were attending Fashions Night Out. He said, “the goats are eating way too much for a fashion event. I guess they can throw it up later.” Perhaps not the right way of handling an overeating issue but it is funny – just admit it – its my blog. And while we are on the topic of eating too much, did you happen to catch Kelly Clarkson on Idol – whoo those goats have nothing on that girl – good thing they weren’t at the same event – not enough to feed both the goats and Kelly. Please Kelly, sing and don’t eat… anymore…for a little while…

The bigger question is why don’t we treat food flaws like we treat the rest of our flaws – as something to overcome. Why do we help people indulge in their food flaws instead of helping them to overcome them? Why can’t we accept our food flaws and move on? That was the biggest lesson for me to understand and one of the hardest things I have to talk to patients about. I accept that I love ice cream. I just don’t eat it. I accept that I crave coconut cake or that big chocolate cake they used to make at Costco – you know the one. But, I don’t allow my food flaws to get the best of me. I am the one in control. Accept your food flaws (because although you weren’t born that way – you certainly learned that way) and eating healthy and being healthy becomes just another thing that you do – not something to battle each week.

Okay, keeping with the theme of acceptance, I totally accept my reality TV show addiction – a realityrexic as I like to call it. Yes, it’s a word – granted one I just made up but like all my other made up words, like, amazeballs (for something truly fantastic) – someone will use it on TV – in this instance, Holly on Glee. I admit to liking……Mob Wives aka The Real Housewives of Staten Island. Who can resist a show with a line like: “Why don’t I date? I’ll f@@@@ tell you why I don’t date. Because all the good men are in jail.”

I kid you not.

Until next time…