Long Island…. Medium

So, I decided that I needed to get some new work-out gear for the city.  As you know, I recently installed a complete medical fitness facility in my office so my trainer, Shane, no longer comes to my home but we train at my office.

While on paper, that idea seemed like a good one; but I must admit that I much preferred training from the comfort of my own home.  And to be frank, it is because of the clothes situation.  The one part of exercise I never liked was the dressing and the undressing and the re-dressing.  What a waste of time!

Don’t get me wrong, I still think the medical fitness facility was a brilliant idea and my patients have been loving it; but, my training there, while increasing the difficulty and hence the results of my work-outs, have been complicated by my lack of gear.

So, since I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on these items of clothing, I ventured into unchartered territories – The Shops of Bridgehampton.  While that may sound glamorous, it consists of a King Kullen (which I wouldn’t be caught dead in), a K-mart and TJ Maxx.

I knew I wouldn’t find anything in the King, I wandered into the TJ Maxx.  I now know why they call it Maxx.  There was NOTHING in my size.  Every article of clothing (and I use the term loosely) started with an X.  I thought perhaps they were pornographic or something and I had wandered into the wrong aisle; but when I took a pair of sweat pants off the rack just to see – at least 3 of me could have fit into them.  The smallest size was a XXL.

But at least I didn’t see anyone who looked like this:

LongIsland_Medium_1I am just so not used to this. I am used to going into Prada or Dior Homme where I am the fattest person in the store; (well, not true because if truth be told, with all the work I put into diet and exercise, I am the perfect sample size 48) but at least I know how to shop there.

Before I move onto my experience with the big K, I must give thanks to Miley Cyrus – the world now knows what a terrible thing gluten is.  Between her and 60 minutes telling the world about the dangers of sugar – what would we do without the media.  You know I love the media but please? There have been countless people talking about these issues for decades but since some teen ___________ (you fill in the blank – there are too many words that fit so I’ll let you decide) announces it’s why she’s gotten so thin – all the world pays attention.  That’s another reason I need a TV show and to be famous – so someone will finally listen to me.

I am rambling and haven’t even gotten to the point of my story.  So, I go to the big K and after wandering aimlessly for what seemed an eternity – I am much better in boutiques – big stores give me vertigo. I finally found the sports section and there was only one size small in the entire store – so for 9.98 I bought it, took it home, tried it on and it was….too big.

There is a terrible trend going on in clothes manufacturing called Size inflation. They know that people would more easily buy clothes if the size didn’t frighten them.  What used to be an 18 is now a 14 and so on.  While this trick may make you feel better buying clothes, it is doing you a grave disservice.

Clothing has been our barometer for how much weight we’ve lost or gained since we’ve started wearing clothing.  How many people have the skinny section of the closet; or the pants they fit into for 15 minutes 10 years ago; the fat section of the closet.  Now, sizes grow as we grow and it’s just wrong

With all this size inflation, if the new female runway models are a size 2 when they were always a size 6; then perhaps I am not really a size 48 but some other, dare I say it, larger size.

While we are on the topic of models – I can’t help but mention the craziness that came out of Cynthia’s mouth on the finale of RHOA.  She said, “models have to be smart.  They have to figure out how to get from the airport to the hotel (gee, that’s difficult); from the hotel to the castings (I manage to find my way to the office every day) and they have to eat (I didn’t think they did that but whatevs)  If that is what qualifies as smart then we are all geniuses – chalk it up to the dumbing down of America once again.

Hmmm. That could get me into a lot of trouble as sizes are one of the things that sets off my eating issues so I will not dwell on it at this moment but I probably will the rest of the day.  I will do what I tell my patients: it’s all how you feel and how you fit in the clothes.

And may I just say WOW to Jennifer Hudson.  How amazeballs did she look on American Idol.  Whatever size she is in is the right one – she looked stellar.  I wish it weren’t Weight Watcher’s that got her there since I think their program is less than stellar; but I am happy she looked healthier than she ever has.

It’s a shame that we no longer have sizes to help keep our weights in check but what we do have is the clothes we already own.  I use them as my guidelines – it’s why I buy expensive clothes (or at least that’s what I tell myself – but as a true new Yorker, I never pay retail for anything) I can’t get out of shape because I can’t afford to buy new clothes.  Let your clothing be your guide!

And what a great week we have in store for the DVR – first up is Kathy Griffin’s new talk show – not sure what to expect but if it’s about taking the piss out of celebrity that I am all for it and…..drumroll please….. The Real Housewives of New Jersey return.  We will finally get to see why Teresa and Jacqueline weren’t speaking when we saw the reunion episode from last season.

Until Next Time…