Food Fright

Is it just me or is the new television season really good?  I am having a hard time keeping up and my DVR is constantly going.  Now that we’ve gotten to November sweeps, the new shows that have made it for me are: Revenge, Ringer, The Secret Circle, Mad Fashion, Pan Am (okay, I was almost afraid to admit that one but I am always honest in my blogging) Unforgettable and of course, American Horror Story.  And those are just the new shows. I know, I should try Grimm or Once but honestly something will have to get cancelled on go on hiatus before I can make one more commitment – I do have a dog to take care of.

Remington, I must admit eats better than most Americans. His food is raw, organic, 95% protein and 5% fruits and vegetables – just what a dog should be eating. He is lucky because I make the food decisions for him. But what about the rest of us?


The USDA helps to set policy – policies that have just made us fatter and fatter.  If we can’t rely on them to help set the tone who will we rely on – Kraft?  Duh! No!

Rather than develop foods that are better for us, this week Kraft, along with other food manufacturers came up with a better idea.  They want to place their processed foods next to fruits and vegetables to give them the illusion of health.

That’s like trying to tell a Real Housewive that although you may be a spokesperson for Payless, and the soles on that shoe is red, it ain’t ever going to be a Louboutin.  Speaking of Loubies, did anyone catch the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion – I know I was 9 months behind in watching this but that’s why there is nothing better than a reality TV marathon – it’s never too late to catch up. They were all in Loubies – every one of them. Even Sheree who I think is a man.  How does a reality TV star afford 1000 dollar shoes? It’s time for my move into reality TV – but more on that in next week’s blog.

Speaking of RHOA, and then I will get back to my point, when did NeNe become the new Teresa (of RHONJ – keep up people or watch a marathon).  She is totally off the deep end – she thinks she’s a star.  That is a sad commentary on her as a person and us as a nation – there’s the topic now discuss amongst yourselves.

For the free prize this week, kindly tell me which character on which TV show used those lines. If a tie-breaker is needed, then also tell me the real name of the person who played that character.

Back to frightening foods and the evil that are the food manufacturers – they make American Horror Story look like Leave it to Beaver. The demands from the food manufacturers are putting pressure on food stores to put processed cheese next to the heirloom tomatoes; tortilla chips next to avocadoes.

Just when the nation is finally beginning to understand the concept of shopping the perimeter where you can generally find whole, real foods in the produce section, meats, eggs; the makers of fruit juice (pure poison) and other processed foods want permanent placement next to the healthy vegetable section. That’s like inviting latex man while thinking its your husband to sire the devil in your unsuspecting womb.

It’s funny. It’s almost as if the once dreaded and despised produce section has become the popular kids’ school lunch table. Everyone wants to be there and it is always the best seat in the house. Nearly every supermarket now has this section located at the entrance to the store so you have to walk through it.

Research has shown that consumers think that anything that is placed in that section is healthy. Really? Who are these people? Do they ever go shopping? Would B or S ever mistake a Chinatown LV bag for the real thing? I don’t think so!  Consumers wake up and smell the beginning of the next round in the war against keeping you healthy.

And don’t tell me you don’t play a semi-duplicitous role in all of this?  It’s like when I was in Beijing and knew where to get the good fake watches. I bought the Langhe and Son watch that I had been coveting for $50 instead of $35,000.  I knew what I was getting but it fooled an awful lot of people.  We will turn a deaf ear or a blind eye (how biblical of me) if we don’t really want to know the truth.

So, when Kraft, the maker of such health foods as Cool Whip, Lunchables and Jet-Puffed marshmallows tries to mix up traditional grocery store layouts – don’t be fooled.  Kraft envisions the grocery store of the future to have the processed refrigerated items next to the kale so the company can play up its fresh factor.

Speaking of factors, I forgot to mention the X Factor – good now that they have whittled the contestant pool a lot and even better now that Paula is breaking down as all her teams get eliminated – they really are the weakest of the bunch anyway so I am happy to see them go.  I just love watching her get all teary eyed as her children lose the competition each week.  Speaking of which – has Paula ever had children? BRB – off to googleland.  Back. The answer is no but as google said, not me, she wanted a baby but wanted vicodin and booze more.

While Paula is sad, yet thoroughly entertaining, misleading unhealthy and overweight consumers is sad but evil and destructive.  It is just a step in the wrong direction. If Kraft wants to sell more food, then why won’t they deliver healthier choices (and not that green boxed frozen food fiasco called Healthy Choice – that’s courtesy of ConAgra) that would actually belong at the cool kids table.

While all of this is shocking, the most shocking thing that happened this week is that the CW put The Vampire Diaries (and if you have never watched, I recommend an immediate Netflix order for your queue for all seasons) on a mid-season hiatus – just when Klaus killed Michael….maybe

Until next time…